Hi, Mai Leum! To be honest, it does not seem like your first song, it sounds cool. Have you created both lyrics and music by yourself? I also make my music but I was making the common mistake for people who do not use professional recording devices. I did not listen to my sounds in good quality, only using a speaker. Try to compare the sound from the usual speaker and the best open-back headphones. You can get more info here
about the last ones if you still do not have it. I wish you to become successful!